Smooth Sailing

Today begins Week 17 in our journey to life.  I am still confused excited as ever but I do have some questions about the smooth sailing of the second trimester.

From what I’ve gathered this is normally the time when things calm a bit as the mother-to-be starts to adjust to her body’s changes.  As everyone is different, I’m sure that every pregnancy is different, but I can’t help but shutter at the thought of the third trimester when things begin picking up steam. 

In reality, it's not all that bad, but at this point if my wife’s head spun completely around on her neck I would not even do a double take.  I wish there was more I could do to help but my Google searches have proved fruitless when looking for a ways to speed up a pregnancy.

I give her all the credit in the world as there is no way that a man could do this, I am completely sure of that.  I cry for days when I come down with the common cold, I can’t imagine how I would deal with morning sickness, cramps, and gulp, discharges.  Moving on.

On top of everything else she's dealing with, the school year has begun and she has a classroom full of 7 year olds to teach, so I think I will cut her some slack on the mood swings, exhaustion and four letter words being thrown around the house.

On a final note, as I learn by mistake, I now know that you never call a pregnant woman a psycho, no matter what actions point to the contrary.

Safety First

In today’s world of helmets, padding, and boy in the bubble safety regulations, we ensure our children are safe at all times.  We take many precautions to make sure nothing goes wrong so that accidents avoided and danger is averted. 

I was born in the seventies, a vastly different time.  A time when people smoked on airplanes, made power shakes with raw eggs, and sprinkled asbestos on their cereal.  Okay that last one’s a stretch but it was certainly a different time.

As a child, I was surrounded by lead paint, we played with rusted nails, swam in creeks, and did all other kinds of things that would terrify today's parents.  When I grew up, a warning label consisted of far fewer words:  Hot!  Sharp!  Will Kill You!

But now I'm beginning to understand why parents are so cautious.  I hope that I'm not going to be one of those overprotective parents.  Is it safe?  Are you okay?  It's raining!  Hopefully I'll know where to draw the line.

My wife had a small glass of wine at our anniversary dinner and I almost had a panic attack....thinking of our baby in there, swimming in a sea of booze.  Some of the things I've read do no help to relieve my nervousness, pumping gas, car exhaust, wet paint....I may get her a hazmat suit, do they come in maternity sizes?

Changes

As we begin our 14th week, our baby’s neck is becoming stronger as he will be able to lift his head from his chin. I’ve become fascinated by reading the baby’s developments as it is truly amazing that my wife is creating life inside of her.

Every day I am more and more amazed by my wife, I’ve started to think of her as a superhero of sorts.  I would give her a cape but she would probably rip it off in a fit of rage, telling me how hot it suddenly has become.  Her ever changing body is now in full swing and I’m trying to roll with it the best I can.

Mood Swings

The mood changes have subsided lately as my wife has gotten used to her raging hormones, but at first I was a bit scared for my life  concerned.  She is back to being her pleasant self which is no small feat considering what’s taking place inside of her.

Swelling breast

Apparently as we get further along, my wife’s swelling breast that she hates and I admire will begin to leak some sort of clear (that's not an actual medical term) substance containing antibodies as she starts to produce milk.  She’s also informed me that they itch, so taking her out in public is a crap shoot.

Aches and pains

I’m trying to do my part, I really am.  I have never been a fan of feet, something I am trying to get over while messaging my pregnant wife’s aching dogs every night.  I know, I know, it’s the least I can do…giving nightly massages is my job and I have to do it with a smile on my face.

Bathroom visits

My God, how much fluid is in there?  Getting in the car?  Gotta pee.  Going for a walk?  Pee.  Bedtime?  Pee Pee Pee.  My wife has taken residence in our bathroom as it seems that her bladder has shrunk to the size of a golf ball.

So as we continue our journey into the unknown, I will keep reading the books and magazines that let me know that my wife's behavior--as funny or odd as it can be at times--is in fact, normal for someone in her condition.  She is handling this in amazing fashion....thankfully men do not get pregnant, there is no way that I could handle this.

Looking Ahead

As my wife enters her second trimester, I have no shortage of things to keep me worrying. Between health issues, finances, my first diaper change, and that terrifying Honey Boo Boo show on TLC, I’m sure there will be plenty of topics to keep me up at night.

I can’t help but to look ahead.  Of course we don’t know what the future holds, but I would like to think it will include some good times.  I hope to embrace fatherhood and enjoy the precious moments with my child.  I hope to teach, to instill, and to inspire, but I also hope to have a little fun.

There’s always been an inner kid inside of me, and now I have a reason to enjoy kid stuff without all the weird looks; I look forward to playing with toys again, pirates, monsters, superheroes, dinosaurs, cars and dump trucks, trains, boats, or whatever else. I’m up for anything. 

I’ve always enjoyed sports, so playing catch or tossing the ball around outdoors is something I look forward to. (No ball in the house, as my mom used to say)

What if it’s a girl you ask?  Ummmm…Okay, okay, I can deal with that as well.  Let’s see, I suppose I could play princess or tea time.  That could be fun, maybe. She could be a tom boy right?  Maybe she’ll like basketball or even, gulp….soccer. 

Boy or girl, we can build forts and go exploring in the woods, enjoy family trips, and the movies, have you seen the kids movies these days?  Now I’ll have a great excuse for going to see these without being the creepy guy sitting in the dark theatre by himself.

Halloween will be a great time, dressing up the little munchkin for trick or treating will be lots of fun, as will eating the candy that “doesn’t pass inspection”. 

Okay, I need to slow down.  I understand we have a long way to go before any of this takes place, and at this point we’re just hoping for a smooth pregnancy and a healthy baby, as it’s not called a miracle for nothing.    But that’s the exciting part for me, the opportunity to be a father.

Mason and the couch

VS.    

My wife recently informed me that she refused to be pregnant on our old couch.  I joked that she could be pregnant in the kitchen and almost got my head taken off in the process.  So of course we bought a new couch.  Our thinking was that she would be home this summer and supervise our highly energetic and at times destructive puppy, Mason.  After two setbacks, the couch that we purchased in early June, will—barring yet another setback---arrive tomorrow.

To say our old couch needs to be replaced is an understatement, we are almost too embarrassed to put it out on the curb.  Let's see, there's the exposed foam, multiple rips, tears, and worn spots that may have been on the cushions since the late eighties.  A tattered couch cover does little to hide hideous object that we use to sit on.

With two dogs it can be difficult to keep anything clean.  But I have many great memories that go along with that old couch.  What can I say?  I'm a sentimental guy.....I’ve spent many a Saturday watching football on that sucker.

So as we start the second trimester with a new couch we begin the waiting game.  How long until Mason chews it up?   I think (pray) Mason's past that stage but I’ll definitely be holding my breath for a while.