Potty Training.

What comes in, must come out. Somewhere. In a diaper. A potty. One time down his leg onto the floor. 

http://sabbyinsuburbia.blogspot.com/2010/03/adventures-in-potty-training-part-1.html

Oh that's gross? Sorry, it's just that once a naked three-year-old does a cartwheel right in your face, well, you just kind of get past all that. 

But the potty training, how's it going you didn't ask? Well, some days it’s a breeze, he tears off his pants and heads for his little froggy toilet in the bathroom just a ringing and singing. Other days, such as this morning, the mere mention of it sets off a horror movie scream that has the dogs taking cover.

But mostly he gets it right. And he’s awfully proud of himself. Like last night. He was on his little potty, giving Mom and me a play-by-play of what was happening. How he wasn’t quite done, in case we were wondering. Then it was back to singing Christmas carols while on his potty. 

Such are the times.

But it will be nice not having to buy diapers. Or change them. Or even look at them after three years of handling full ones. And I think he's ready to be done with them too, be a big boy, where some Underoos. 

And being that we're not completely in the clear I have to keep an eye on his expression. I can face read him like a champ. The narrowing eyes, the furrowing brow, means that a storm's abrewing and we'd better get him where he needs to go. Some jumping up and down, a slight smile, well, that means the dude needs to pee.

When he does his business in the potty you'd think he'd won the slots. A parade ensues. He gets high-fives, we cheer him down the hall to the kitchen where he receives a bit of candy to grease his palms. And he's ready to tell anyone about it.The other night we went to dinner with friends, their 8 and 5 year-old girls were at the end of the table. My son hops out of his seat, struts back to them with a gleam in his eye and says, “I’m potty trained.”

It just may be the best come-on line in history.

And things aren't always a breeze, not with such a stubborn strong-willed kid. But every kid is different, and will take to doing things at different ages. For my kid this was all about comfort. For a time his reason for not pooping at school was that the toilet is too loud. Not sure if that was truth or just a well thought out excuse but it was fine with me. He's going now so all is well.

Man, when did I get here, writing about poop? Maybe after my last  shred of dignity was bundled up and tossed into a diaper genie. Or perhaps before, when I was fumbling sloshing bottles of breast milk in the fog of night. Either way, this is just one more notch in the belt of parenthood. Next up, hang on, uh, there’s poop on the floor….

Looking Ahead

As my wife enters her second trimester, I have no shortage of things to keep me worrying. Between health issues, finances, my first diaper change, and that terrifying Honey Boo Boo show on TLC, I’m sure there will be plenty of topics to keep me up at night.

I can’t help but to look ahead.  Of course we don’t know what the future holds, but I would like to think it will include some good times.  I hope to embrace fatherhood and enjoy the precious moments with my child.  I hope to teach, to instill, and to inspire, but I also hope to have a little fun.

There’s always been an inner kid inside of me, and now I have a reason to enjoy kid stuff without all the weird looks; I look forward to playing with toys again, pirates, monsters, superheroes, dinosaurs, cars and dump trucks, trains, boats, or whatever else. I’m up for anything. 

I’ve always enjoyed sports, so playing catch or tossing the ball around outdoors is something I look forward to. (No ball in the house, as my mom used to say)

What if it’s a girl you ask?  Ummmm…Okay, okay, I can deal with that as well.  Let’s see, I suppose I could play princess or tea time.  That could be fun, maybe. She could be a tom boy right?  Maybe she’ll like basketball or even, gulp….soccer. 

Boy or girl, we can build forts and go exploring in the woods, enjoy family trips, and the movies, have you seen the kids movies these days?  Now I’ll have a great excuse for going to see these without being the creepy guy sitting in the dark theatre by himself.

Halloween will be a great time, dressing up the little munchkin for trick or treating will be lots of fun, as will eating the candy that “doesn’t pass inspection”. 

Okay, I need to slow down.  I understand we have a long way to go before any of this takes place, and at this point we’re just hoping for a smooth pregnancy and a healthy baby, as it’s not called a miracle for nothing.    But that’s the exciting part for me, the opportunity to be a father.

Friendly Advice...

Get used to it...

As one of my coworkers was heating up his lunch today--as he always does when everyone else goes out to lunch--I asked him about his kids.  With two boys of his own, at 8 and 11, he has more than his hands full.   I told him my big news and he quickly congratulated me.   As he started to laugh at my naivety, he was more than willing to offer some advice.

Your time will cease to exist.  You will eat, sleep little, and take care of the crying baby.  He explained that he and his wife worked in shifts, so the other could sleep. 

Eating out is a thing of the past.  With childcare, diapers, clothes, and insurance, getting used to leftovers is a necessity.  At home, he explained he and his wife had eaten out maybe once in the past year, I may have openly cringed.

Getting to work on time is a miracle. – At least when you have to get the kids to school on time.

Diapers are expensive - He made sure I understood this.  Diapers are expensive.  Got it  He also let me know that I would get used to changing diapers, it becomes second nature....you don't really have a choice is how he put it.

Our talk was brief, I started to sense that work was his escape from kids and home so I decided to changed the topic to our usual subject, sports.  He seemed happy to change gears, as the tired and weary look on his face perked up at the mentioning of football and away from what must be his chaotic home life. 

I’m thankful for his advice and at the same time confused as ever.  Oh well, I’ll learn soon enough. Everyone has their own way of doing things; I’m just trying to take it all in.