Remote Setting

Watching television with my wife, I often have to compromise due to our different tastes. While I tend to enjoy slapstick comedies such as The Office, she’s more of a police drama, Cold Case type girl. Lately however, she doesn’t make it through a car commercial without falling asleep.

Now with the football season underway, I've had to resort to a covert channel change technique--very carefully--one false move and she’s awake, her eyes will adjust and I'll find myself watching House Hunters as the game heads into overtime on ESPN. 

The first step is the ever important remote control placement.  If I have to rummage through between the cushions or lean up to the coffee table I run the risk of stirring a sleeping pregnant wife, which could lead to a foot massage, not good when a game's on. 

Also taken into consideration is her breathing pattern.  If I can’t see her eyes, I have to guess by her breathing whether or not she’s sleeping.  Long deep rhythmic breaths mean it’s time for the hand waive.  The hand waive is just as it sounds, when I think she’s asleep, I will waive my free hand over her face, no response?  It’s game time.

Lastly and perhaps most important, is the volume.   Many times, after all is clear, I'll flip to the game and....THE CROWD GOES WILD, WHAT A SENSATIONAL PLAY!!!  I’ve forgotten to turn the volume down and she's now awake and wondering what happened to the syndicated episode of Law & Order involving an East German
crime ring.

Now sometimes there are elements out of my control.  I can do everything mentioned, and just as I settle in to watch the game, the dogs will start barking, the phone rings, and I'm back to square one.

But don't feel bad for me, there could be far worse situations to be in than a little remote control strategy. Besides, once the baby is here I may not be as concerned with what's on television anyway.

Changes

As we begin our 14th week, our baby’s neck is becoming stronger as he will be able to lift his head from his chin. I’ve become fascinated by reading the baby’s developments as it is truly amazing that my wife is creating life inside of her.

Every day I am more and more amazed by my wife, I’ve started to think of her as a superhero of sorts.  I would give her a cape but she would probably rip it off in a fit of rage, telling me how hot it suddenly has become.  Her ever changing body is now in full swing and I’m trying to roll with it the best I can.

Mood Swings

The mood changes have subsided lately as my wife has gotten used to her raging hormones, but at first I was a bit scared for my life  concerned.  She is back to being her pleasant self which is no small feat considering what’s taking place inside of her.

Swelling breast

Apparently as we get further along, my wife’s swelling breast that she hates and I admire will begin to leak some sort of clear (that's not an actual medical term) substance containing antibodies as she starts to produce milk.  She’s also informed me that they itch, so taking her out in public is a crap shoot.

Aches and pains

I’m trying to do my part, I really am.  I have never been a fan of feet, something I am trying to get over while messaging my pregnant wife’s aching dogs every night.  I know, I know, it’s the least I can do…giving nightly massages is my job and I have to do it with a smile on my face.

Bathroom visits

My God, how much fluid is in there?  Getting in the car?  Gotta pee.  Going for a walk?  Pee.  Bedtime?  Pee Pee Pee.  My wife has taken residence in our bathroom as it seems that her bladder has shrunk to the size of a golf ball.

So as we continue our journey into the unknown, I will keep reading the books and magazines that let me know that my wife's behavior--as funny or odd as it can be at times--is in fact, normal for someone in her condition.  She is handling this in amazing fashion....thankfully men do not get pregnant, there is no way that I could handle this.