Sports...Meh

On Saturday, we took our three year old to a college basketball game. The thinking was that between the festive crowd, the loud noises, those cool flame throwers that ignite when somebody hits a three point shot, well, there’d be something for him to find, right?

Right. He loved walking up to the arena. Pointing to the cranes stretched high in the sky, perking up at the sound of heavy construction underway. Something's being built today, he looked to be thinking, his nose in the air and a squint in his eyes. I can smell it.

Technically this wasn’t his first basketball game. There was the Diaper Derby back in his younger months, but that was what, two years ago? Ancient history.

Now, buying tickets, I watched him bouncing around, ready for tip off. I remember going to the games as a kid, how the thrill of getting close to the action would had me hopping around like a Cameron Crazy.

Yeah, that’s not what was happening here. I think the kid just had to pee or something. As soon as I got our tickets and we walked into that dark arena and  it was like a balloon deflated. Some guy handed him one of those foam #1 hand thingies. He gave it a shrug and handed it over to me, his eyes lingering back on the sunny day as we went to find our seats.

The day wasn't a bust. There were some things he liked. He enjoyed the popcorn. He really liked the steps leading down to the court. He watched maybe a possession or two of basketball. Then the going got....difficult.

Here’s the deal. I don’t mind if my kid doesn’t like sports. To be honest, getting older and becoming a dad, I don’t have the same overzealous enthusiasm of my younger years. Besides, he’s three. He has plenty of time to change his mind, if he chooses.

My kid is much more interested in what makes something work or how it was built than watching some guys put a ball in a basket. Oh my God. That sounded just like my wife.

And this from a guy whose weekends used to be marathons of football or basketball games. Playoff time meant that I was not taking calls. What? You broke your leg? Okay, commercial break is over. I’m going to have to call you back.

From the time I could walk I loved going to the gym. The band playing, the pulse of the crowd, the lights and atmosphere. My son today? Wow, look at these fold up seats. You put them down and they swing right back up again. Amazing. I just gotta take a look-see how they do that!

We made it to halftime. And only because the place wasn’t quite half full and there was plenty of roaming room. We did some laps around the gym, checking out those straw dispensers and shouting Naughty! at every, single, napkin or bottle cap on the floor.

On our way out, climbing up from the court, the announcer was going wild. Someone hit a three. I didn’t even turn back, I had a grubby little hand in my own, a wife and kid who wanted to get outside and into the sunshine. And maybe they were on to something. Coming out of the dark gym, it was bright and had warmed up nicely. I took a big breath of fresh air, then my son saw a golf cart and that  became a thing.

We’ll try again at four, or five, or whenever he actually asks to go to a game. But I won’t hold my breath. This is a kid who’d rather cut the grass on the football field than watch the big guys collide, (again, sounding like my wife right there, ugh). But I have a feeling that my son just isn’t a big sports fan. He’d rather go to a Consumer Reports field testing facility.

Do they offer season tickets?

Ready For Football...

July is a great time for my wife. School is out, the days are long, and she has my undistracted attention. For me, July is hot and humid. A dragging and sports-less haze of a month. The Nba finals are over. I’m not a baseball guy, and I don't watch NASCAR or pro wrestling. Maybe tennis. I’m definitely not watching golf. Last year I had the Olympics, but now I'm left stuck in sporting limbo. 

But the end is near.  In a few weeks the Hall of Fame game kicks off the NFL preseason, and college football won't be far behind.  I do however, have a feeling that my football viewing will be forever changed.  I mean, with so many new developments, who has the time?

My son screams like a pterodactyl.  It’s ear piercing, rattling the glass in the windows, and could be a form of communication with aliens. I feel for the dogs, who’ve surprisingly been excellent sports about the whole thing.  He shrieks whether he is happy or upset, it makes no difference to him.  He’s quite impressed with himself, watching his face you can see the wheels turning behind those big blue eyes of his.  Wow, I can make that sound? Cool!  Not cool.  I’m waiting for a knock on the door to find a haggard and sweaty, overworked state employee holding a clip board, informing me in a polite yet authoritative tone that he/she needs to come inside so that I can answer a couple of questions.

And then of course there's the diaper changes, which are getting increasingly difficult with all of this wiggling he does.  He used to lie there like a lump and go through the motions.  He goes through plenty of motions these days, squirming and flopping like a fish in a boat.  I cannot count the times I’ve put his diaper on backwards in the middle of the night (Don’t tell Mom!). My football viewing will take a hit due to this, along with feeding times, play time, bath time, (more like splash time), and all the other times of the day.  I’m going to need plenty of time outs. 

Also to consider is the crawling stage.  We are not too far from being mobile, which I’m told is a game changer (like the forward pass!) Yes, soon I will be following this little munchkin around the house as he crawls and scampers like a third dog. And if his crawling is anything like his bouncing, well, I’d better get in shape.

So football season could very well come and go and I may never know the difference.  Maybe I’ll catch the Super Bowl, we’ll see. Not to worry, I have my priorities (and dvr), so I don’t mind missing some football to catch these new developments.  It seems like every day he does something to make me smile or laugh, and I can’t believe how blessed we are to have such a healthy (and extremely active) little guy.

No Pressure...

The Daily Press, March 16th 2031

Charlottesville, Va. Simon Fanning, the freshman phenom for the University of Virginia knows how to draw a crowd.  Leading the Cavs' basketball team in points, rebounds, assists, and steals, Fanning is having one of the more memorable seasons in school history.  During last night’s route of the Duke Blue devils at John Paul Jones arena, Fanning set a freshman record with his sixth triple double this season season.

“I’m just trying to get everyone involved.  Tonight was a team effort, just like every night.”

With all the right answers, the 6’4” combo guard is enjoying a sensational streak, leading Virginia on a late season surge towards a #1 seed as the conference tournament approaches. Fanning is averaging a whopping 28 points, 14 rebounds and 8 assist over the last 5 games, and with March madness looming, excitement is swirling over the historic grounds in Charlottesville. Uva head coach Chris Paul explained just how special his young star has been to his team.

“This kid comes to play, whether its practice or crunch time, he’s out there doing everything in his power to help the team win.”

His on court success comes after a breakout season on the football field.  The duel sport athlete threw for over 3,000 yards last season, leading Virginia to its first conference championship in over twenty five years.  His 42 touchdown passes shattered both school and conference records, as Fanning showed the poise and skill set to excite both fans and nfl scouts sitting in the stands.  One of those scouts, who wished to remain anonymous, gushed about the chance to nab the Heisman trophy winner

“I’ve been doing this for a long time, and I’ve never seen such a combination of foot speed and accuracy in a college quarterback.  This kid is the real deal, we’d take him 1^st right now if we could.”  

Juggling two sports, most kids would have a difficult time focusing on their studies, but Fanning--a physics major, has little trouble shedding the cleats and hitting the lab, maintaining a perfect 4.0 gpa.  Whispers of a potential Rhodes scholarship have surfaced on campus as Fanning is an active member of the Jefferson Literary and Debating Society. Following the footsteps of notable members such as Edgar Allen Poe and Woodrow Wilson, Fanning participates in weekly sunrise sessions, reading prose and poetry or taking part in vigorous debates on matters ranging from the impending oil crisis to often humorous critiques of current President Ben Affleck’s blunders in office.

Fanning is no stranger to the limelight. Following his rousing high school graduation speech, covered by C-Span and featured on The Today Show, Fanning spent the summer participating in a highly selective internship with Nasa, where he received the Milton award for his work on the Mars water-monitoring app that will be utilized with Apple’s forthcoming Ikitchen.

Fluent in French, German, Spanish, and Zulu, Fanning says he plans to spend the upcoming offseason taking part in the construction of a maternity ward for a remote village in South Africa. 

Simon’s proud father, Pete Fanning, says he knew there was something special about his son from the very beginning.

“We came home from that there hospital and I says shoot.  That boy there, he’s gonna be a smart one.”

And a smart one he is.  Fanning attributes his success to his upbringing, praising his mother and father for their support in all of his interests, mentioning how thankful he is that his father never wrote outlandish blog posts chocked full of unattainable standards. 

With all of his first year success, Fanning says for now he just wants to enjoy college life and help others in the process.  From Rhodes scholar to future Nba star, Simon’s future looks full of promise.  And who knows? Perhaps his next venture will be to tutor his father.

Hoop Dreams

I'm not going to be the dad who pushes sports on his son. He'll be free to pursue what makes him happy, unless it's one of those trends I'm too old to understand.  Like milking, or planking, or owling, or whatever bewildering trend is looming. With that being said, there's an old basketball goal at the end of our street. The pole shows some rust and the plastic backboard is weathered and faded, but when I was a kid a hoop was a hoop, (until your dad comes down with a tomahawk jam that rips the rim off of the backboard, but that's for another post).  When we moved into our house a few years ago I tightened up the rim and replaced the dry rotted net that had been blowing in the wind since the Reagan administration.  

The goal may not look like much, but I can already envision a little Simon bouncing the ball down the street to join dad for a game. I know, it may be a few months.  It’s an adjustable goal so I will lower it for him.  I don’t expect anything spectacular, nothing youtube worthy anyway, just some good old father-son bonding time.  Who knows, maybe we’ll let Mom join us.

As much as I want him to like basketball, I won't force it on him. If it's not his thing, no big deal, there are plenty of other hobbies out there. So down the road if I end up at a chess match or a debate, or even...gulp, a soccer match, I’ll be just as proud (and maybe as loud) as I would cheering him on the court. 

Whatever he decides to do I'll support it, even if it's hockey. I'm game for whatever the journey brings. But one thing is for certain; the kid will have to get outside.  Whether it's riding his bike, playing in the creek, or even reading a book, I want him to come home dirty.  Just like dad.

Roster Changes

Everything looks like a baby...

Like most guys, I’ve always loved playing and watching sports, mainly football. From the college ranks to the professionals, I follow my teams during the off season and through the grind of the regular season, watching the experts on television and listening to the commentary on the radio talk shows with total devotion.

Usually August is an exciting time for me because it means that football season is right around the corner, but it has crept up on me this year.  I haven’t been paying attention to details.  As friends and coworkers begin to talk football news, I find myself lost, like a kid who has failed to study for a quiz.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m pumped that football is just around the corner, I'm just a bit behind on the latest trades and acquisitions.  Perhaps this is due to the upcoming new addition to our own roster.

These days I have more to think about than training camps and pre-season rituals.  Schedules have taken on a whole new meaning, as weeks and trimesters have replaced quarters and halves.

Statistics have changed for me; I’m more concerned with crown to rump ratio rather than touchdowns to interceptions.  Passing yards have taken a backseat to red blood cell production, while training camp reports have been ignored while I anticipate finding out if we’re having a boy or a girl.

As we chart the progress with each week, I’ve found myself going weeks without watching SportsCenter and in the dark about my beloved team’s progress.  It seems there’s a new team in town and it’s quickly become my favorite, The Fanning family.