Our Baby Zombie

Help!

There is a crisis in my household.  Our child has become a slobbering baby zombie.  I’m not sure when or how it happened, but as his coordination and motor skills improve, he's trying to eat our faces. 

He starts slow, climbing up my chest with a precious smile on his cute little face before grabbing mine and opening his mouth.  Nom Nom Nom. I’m quickly drenched in drool as he sucks on my cheeks and attempts to gum my nose.   At first we thought these merely sweet kisses from our son when they were actually rudimentary attempts at feeding on my flesh.

Luckily, our baby zombie has no teeth so our skin has remained intact. But our luck will soon run out as before long teeth will  sprout from his gums and unsuspecting family members will be gorged.

At night we awaken to ghoulish grunts and groans.  He speaks in tongues, perhaps dreaming about faces in the dark.  He wakes up with a smile, grabbing and pulling with an open mouth and an appetite.  So far we have been able to fend him off with the boob and bottle, but we don't have long before this baby's going to need some solid foods...