Before Your Time...

When I was a kid my dad surprised the family one Christmas by bringing home a video camera—or a home video recorder.  Basically a VCR with a shoulder harness.  My dad lugged that cinderblock around to football games, school plays, and throughout the neighborhood, capturing all sorts of embarrassing moments onto tapes that he saved for future use.

Fast forward to last night. I swiped my phone off of the coffee table, touched the screen and began recording memories without causing any permanent damage to my back or having to adjust the tracking.

VCR’s and tapes in general are before my son’s time along with everything I know.  It seems I’ll have some questions to answer.  Dad, what’s a pay phone? 

The other night while giving my son a bath, I called him Suds Mckenzie.  Crickets….that joke may have even been before my wife’s time….the next thing you know I'll be quoting MamamaMax Headroom and searching for New Generation Pepsi on Ebay.

Man, its seems that everything is before my son’s time. 

For instance, we all know cursive is before his time, but what about pens and paper and textbooks.  Dad, what's a book bag?

But all is not lost. For example, mullets are before his time. And I am beyond fortunate that I won't be forced to listen to Justin Bieber, so I can breathe a sigh of relief there.

Newspapers and magazines will go the way of the Encyclopedia.  Tv Guide?  Just press info on the remote...

Cd’s and Ipods will become records and tapes.  Dad, what do you mean You'll tape it?

Moderate politicians are before my son’s time.  There was a time when being a moderate was a good thing, I even read somewhere that our congress used to eat lunch together. Gasp. Today, one must blindly follow one side or risk being called a traitor.  But what do I know? I cast my first vote for Ross Perot.

Pennies are on the way out; He’ll have to log in to check his virtual piggy bank.

By the time he's 10, we'll all be wearing those stupid Google glasses and laughing about those archaic days when we actually typed on keyboards.  And I thought a calculator watch was cool when I was a kid.  What is this Walkman you speak of?

Lebron James is 28, way before his time.  Michael Jordan is 50….Who?  

But there’s always the throwbacks….watching college basketball I noticed how the high-top fade has made a comeback.  MJ is still selling shoes and I can turn to youtube and Netflix to introduce him to the Cosby show and Knight Rider.  If that doesn’t do the trick then there’s always those video tapes of me as a kid….Thanks Dad.