The Reliever

According to Wikipedia--only the most trusted source of information in the world, a relief pitcher enters the game after the starting pitcher is removed due to injury or ineffectiveness, fatigue, or other strategic reasons. 

I wonder if lack of breast milk falls under the vast scope of strategic reasons.  For all I know it could be a banned substance.

Barry Bonds admits to drinking breast milk during record breaking season!!! 

It wouldn’t surprise me. 

And I shouldn't have been surprised when I came home from work and walked into the buzz saw that was my house. Our son was on nap strike, refusing to budge and voicing his displeasure with shrieks that had the dogs running for cover.

None of our tricks were working (having been a parent for 5 weeks, our bag of tricks is a bit sparse), and it seemed we were in for a long night.  I couldn't help but laugh as we sat down to eat dinner at the table, where my wife ate her dinner with one hand while feeding our baby with the other.  This is exactly what I envisioned on our first date when we sipped adult beverages and ate dinner at a human pace. 

At seven he was crying, by 9 he was still going strong, by 11 he was doing the Harlem Shake.  As our starting pitcher, my wife was fatigued.  Phone the bullpen, it’s time for some relief.

As a rookie, I was a little nervous getting the call. Blissfully asleep on my side of the bed, I usually come in and sleepwalk through a diaper change a few times during the night.  But my wife informed me that after 18 hours, she needed a break.  She had nursed and burped, she had done all she could.  Chalk it up to fatigue, I began warming up.

I was surprisingly serviceable.  After a shaky start, I warmed up and after some fussing, I was able to get the little guy to finally drift off, giving my wife an hour and a half of well deserved rest.

Getting the call, I was happy to step up and be of some use.  Well not happy, but glad to come in and help.