This Time

I'll start with the obvious: Pregnancy is a woman’s job, through and through. It's not for guys, it looks... hard. Anyway, I'm lucky to be married to an amazing woman. Let me explain.

So here we where, at the end of this baby making process. We had a due by date and everything was sort of on standby. My in-laws drove down to hang with our seven year old and the plan was to play the waiting game.

We didn’t wait long.

While I’m working from home, my wife was still going to school to teach online. (Read that again if you have to, it’s the subject for an entirely different blog post)

Anyway, the day after my in-laws arrived, my wife went to work and I logged on. At lunch, I took for a quick dog walk. I returned to find my mother in-law waiting outside. She said something like, “Two things…First…”

She leads with the news of the Fed Ex man, something about a damaged package. And then, “Oh, and Anne is coming home. She’s having contractions.”

I look up. “Um, what.”

Sure, I knew we were at the any-day-now stage, but that day is today?

Yep, my wife pulls into the driveway, and this time, unlike the other time, she’s struggling.

The first time she was all, no lets’ wait. Now she’s ready. Our seven year old watches on as his mother, hunched over and wincing, takes deep breaths. You know, contractions.

There’s no time to wait. We get in the car. We say a tearful goodbye. It’s all too weird, this second time around. The first time I was a mess, worried. This time I was a mess worried, but also leaving one kid to go have another. I know, people do it all the time, but we’ve been seven years as an only child family. It’s going to take some shifting.

And shift I did. We drove to the hospital, did the whole Covid check in thing, and whisked right up the elevator to the birthing center.

Bits and pieces come back to me. Of last time. While my wife is deep breathing, my mind is roaming, The little wooden stork’s the same, the floors are a bit more scuffed. No one in the waiting room. Oh look they redid the windows…

“Honey, focus.”

Right.

We ring the bell. We wait. I offer my wife a seat but she can’t sit. Honestly she's not doing so hot standing up, either. The last time—yep, everything will get compared to last time—she seemed far more comfortable as we waited in one room, then after a while moved to another. This time we're going to be lucky to make it through the doors.

We ring the bell again.

A nurse comes out. "Hi yes. Um, can you wait a minute. Yeah, we’re getting the room ready."

Seems it’s a busy day in the maternity ward.

We don't wait long. Something in my wife's pale, pallid face must have gotten the point across, because soon the nurse returns and we get in the room as they’re still mopping. My wife doesn’t notice. She locks herself in the bathroom, long enough to where I’m kind of listening for baby wails.

Then, she comes out. They help her into a gown. They ask if she wants an epidural. She nods, her head spinning exorcist style.

More nurses. A doctor. Seven, eight people, including the nice lady still mopping. My wife mentions the epidural again. They do some prodding.

“No time, girl. You’re having this baby.”

“Oh,” I perk up. If there’s ever a time for a man to feel helpless, it’s in the delivery room. Last time it was slower. Or maybe time smoothed the edges so it seemed that way. But last time I hung out, watched it happen. This time my wife is sweating, writhing around, looking for a shot of whiskey. We might as well be in a covered wagon because this baby is coming right now.

“That’s it. Push.”

And then, forty-five minutes after we walk through the doors. Baby.

A baby girl arrives in the world. She’s purple and messy and connected by a cord that supplies everything she’s needed up until right…now. It’s one of those all too surreal moments in life where you realize just how much matters and how little control you have over anything.

And people might say things are a mess right now. But it’s a good time to have a baby. We’re together, all of us. One, bigger, happy family. Stay tuned. This ought to be fun...

Getting Closer

Well, here we go. In a month, give or take, a little girl is coming into our lives. Well, my son’s life, my life, pretty sure she’s been in my wife’s life, bouncing around all this time now.

But as the baby room comes along and I find myself hanging flowery things, and the baby seat is ready and waiting, it’s clear this is getting real—fast. We bought a minivan. A minivan. Us, although I will say it’s plenty roomy and with the seats down I can get my bike in there pretty easily. But, where was I. Oh yes.

A girl.

My life is a blur of Nerf darts and tree forts. And yes, who is to say a girl can’t partake in all of that, but for a while this thing is going to be a baby. Meaning nap times and lullabies, and "Please don’t shoot me in the ear while I’m working!”

Sorry.

This chaotic 2020 has been one for the ages. But it hasn’t been all bad. I mean, I’m fortunate enough to hang onto my job and work from home. We’re having a baby! I’ve had two books published this year. And while those dreams of book signings and brick and mortar stores have gone the way of handshakes and hugs, who’s to say it won’t happen down the road.

My son is ready to go back to school, but that will have to wait. As the Covid-19 cases continue to climb, he’ll be remote for a while. Sure, he’s bummed, but it’s for the best. We’ll all be here, under one roof, all day, all night, living the dream.

So hey. People are fighting for their lives out there. People are getting sick. People are losing their minds. But people are also out there well, having babies.

You can’t make this stuff up. All you can do is enjoy it.

Oh Boy, Oh Boy. It's a Girl!

Well, here go again. Older, wiser, armed with a vast arsenal of parenting knowledge. 

Okay, maybe just older. 

Back in January, when my wife first mentioned she might be pregnant, I was working on edits and I’ll admit, my mind wasn’t completely in the conversation. Hey, it wasn’t my fault. Things were finally taking off. 2020 was looking to be the year. I’d signed a book contract. I was finally getting published. Something I've been dreaming about for nearly a decade.

So… baby? My mind was miles away. A book baby. Yeah, I've been writing and rewriting then editing... after all that rejection, then rewriting and editing all over again, well,it is almost like carrying a baby. Pretty much the same thing...

A few weeks later she said it again. Only, by then she'd scheduled an appointment and was chucking out cash for the early learning center to hold a spot for the fall. Now she had my attention. "Wait, do you mean to tell me...? You're pregnant? Like a… with a human?" I made a rocking motion with my arms. “You mean like a baby baby?”

Really, it's amazing my wife is still with me. 

Anyway, so the day before my novel came out, you know, the big dream and all, we took a trip to the women’s center, where I sat back, sort of looking at my wife like, this is cute. 

"Remember doing this?" I said, thinking back to my wide-eyed self. So terrified about the prospect of fathering human life. What I didn’t say was, Remember doing this when you were really pregnant? Because I’m not going to lie, she’d refused to by a store-bought pregnancy test so I really didn’t believe this was actually happening. But dumb as I am, and I’m dumb, like, brew-decaffeinated-coffee-in-the-morning-by-mistake kind of dumb, I’m still smart enough to know when to keep my mouth shut.  

So anyway, there we were, heading down the halls we walked nearly eight years ago, back when I started this blog. I took my seat, set my hands behind my head and got comfortable, hoping the nice lady would let her down easy.

Lights out. Show time. The lady wiped the gunk on my wife’s tummy and I turned to the screen and what’s that? That little peanut is moving.

So fast forward. The book came out, there’s a major pandemic going on. I got a little spot on my face and turns out, I had to go to the doctor’s to have it removed (2020 is still my year, dammit, but it’s kind of kicking my tail). And it just so happened this was on the same day my wife went to find out if this little surprise baby is a boy or a girl. So my son went with her, which was kind of cool. 

And t’s a girl. A girl. And considering my son filled up the bathtub with sticks the other day, I’m really okay with that.

Sure, I’m hitting my mid-forties, and I’m okay with that too.If anything, being a parent has taught me patience above all else. And what else to I have to do besides raise kids who make me feel like a kid again? To laugh at silly jokes, tell silly stories and watch silly movies? Of course, parenthood comes with battles and issues and all sorts of problems I could never dream up all by myself, but you know what, 2020 is proof that nothing is guaranteed, the world has a way of throwing you for a loop, so when things happen, like Covid-19, skin cancer, global instability, and mass confusion, you take the surprise news of a surprise little girl coming into your life for exactly what it is: a gift.

Hey I wrote a book!

You’ve probably wondered where I’ve been. No? Well, anyway, I’ve been working on some novels, and now one of them has been released into the wild.

It’s hard to believe the day has come. For years I’ve been writing and editing and writing more. But now, it’s here, on Tuesday my debut novel, JUSTICE IN A BOTTLE was released and it’s a dream come true.

This is shaping up to be quite a crazy year for sure. More on that later, but for now, I can sit back and enjoy all my success. No again? You mean, I have to like, market this thing? Release parties and book signings and bask in the spotlight? Ugh. Not my style. It’s so much easier to sit behind a desk and write stories.

But it’s happening. As an indie author, it’s up to me to spread the word, so I’m trying to do that, here, like right now to you. Check out my book, if you want to, you don’t have to, but here are some links just in case.

Thanks!


Amazon - https://www.amazon.com/Justice-Bottle-Pete-Fanning/dp/1733908587


Barnes & Noble - https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/justice-in-a-bottle-pete-fanning/1134550612