Wednesday, October 10, 2012

Hidden Agenda

Who am I to question Heidi Murkoff?  Her book has sold over 34 million copies and even been made into a Hollywood movie.  It is an invaluable resource that is helpful, knowledgeable, and a must read for all expecting parents.    
At home, I consider myself involved as much as possible in the pregnancy process, trying my best to overcome fears and prepare for fatherhood.  As I read through this pregancy bible, I've noticed a few things.  There's some pretty harsh language towards men.
Here's an excerpt:
Your baby is growing by leaps and bounds, reaching nine inches in length and passing the pound and a half mark. Under his skin, capillaries are forming and filling with blood and by week's end, air sacs (also lined with capillaries) will develop in his lungs, getting them ready for that first breath.
Did you catch that?  Very subtle but it's there. Sometimes you have to read between the lines. Here’s what I got out of it:

While you continue to sacrifice your body, expending energy as you create the tiny miracle growing inside of you, your man-child husband contributes nothing.  He lies on the couch, sprawled out watching football while contributing nothing to the cause.  If you had a real man he would understand your feelings and offer to massage your feet while baking brownies in the oven.  He would feed you grapes by hand, fanning your flushed face in between vacuuming the house during the commercials breaks of the Lifetime marathon, He's Guilty!

There is a slight chance that I may be reading into this a bit more than I should, but I think I'm on to something here.  What to Expect?  More like What is Expected.  Now if you'll excuse me I have a batch of brownies to check on...
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10 comments:

  1. This is hilarious Pete and my husband would have probably shook your hand during both of my pregnancies. I admit I did read this book and still actually have it in our bookcase too!!

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    1. I do enjoy reading it, and I even have the app on my phone, but every once an a while I catch a little something like this!

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  2. I had to laugh at the way you read between the lines. What you "read" is definitely pretty close to what I was thinking about my own husband when I was pregnant. He spent a fair amount of time coming up with jokes about vomiting (I threw up daily for duration of my first pregnancy).
    Everything can be fixed with brownies though, so I think you are on the right track in your thinking. Best of luck!

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    1. When I don't feel like doing something, my wife guilts me into doing it by saying how my son would appreciate it!

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  3. Ha ha - this is absolutely hilarious. I was lucky. When I got pregnant for the first time I was in the military (ok - maybe that doesn't really say lucky!) But anyway, I wrote for the post newspaper and because of that, I was always looking for interesting stories. One thing I found was something called Boot Camp for New Dads. It was for the new father to learn how to be a daddy! I, of course, immediately signed my husband up. And I will happily admit that I am the first female to have graduated the class. But, I had no choice, I was there to record the class. I wish they had more of those classes out... would hate for all those men to read to much into What to Expect (BROWNIES) when you are Expecting!

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    1. I would love to attend, all I have is a 3 hour course lined up later this month!

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  4. The course was pretty cool... This of course was 10 years ago. It was held one day, every single week for about 3 months. It was very informative and covered everything from how to pamper mom to change a diaper. I think they have moved it to the civilian arena. I know when it first started it was specific to the military dad.

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  5. The hospital where we were signed up had a bootcamp for Daddies. I signed my husband up because he was a nervous wreck. This was his first and my second. I'm happy to report that after the class, he was much calmer and a lot more helpful.

    You will do great, Pete! Remember the humor when you get the first "OMG!" diaper. :)

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