Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Sleeping Alone...

For the past two nights I have slept like a baby and because of this I feel somewhat guilty.  As my wife’s mid section grows, her sleeping has gotten more and more erratic.  She takes anywhere between 8-10 bathroom trips each night, tossing from side to side and using as much space as possible while doing so. 
A few days ago she came down with a cold that left her completely miserable, especially at night.  She began snoring heavily—like scared the dogs heavily—so the other night while she was tossing and turning, I snuck out.  I snuck out on my pregnant, sick wife, what a jerk.
I headed down the hall for the guest room.    The bed felt a bit softer than normal, the pillows were fluffed as if they had been prepared to my liking for a good night’s rest.  Oh wow, I thought, stretching out, this is nice. I didn't know it could feel like this.  I closed my eyes, quickly surrendering to a deep uninterrupted sleep. 
I woke up the next morning refreshed, in fact I had overslept; my wife woke me, asking me if I planned on going to work, (I had forgotten to put the do not disturb sign out).  I hopped out of bed well rested and recharged, ready to take on the day with a smile on my face.  I Pushed back the tinge of guilt, got dressed and headed to the kitchen for breakfast.  School was pushed back a couple of hours due to the rain hurricane so I kissed my loving wife on the forehead and went off to work.

I thought it was a one time thing.  I vowed not to do it again.  The next night, we said goodnight before going to sleep, like any other happily married couple who doesn’t keep things from each other.  I tried to sleep, drifting at times before my attention was jerked by the tossing and sneezing and snoring.  I waited until around midnight and made my move.  I climbed out of bed, walking softly down the hall to my luxurious unoccupied sleep suite, pulling back the covers and digging in for a second night of peaceful sleep. 
I’m awful, I know.  My poor pregnant wife is sick and here I am slinking off down the hall to oblivion.  I don’t want us to become a couple who sleeps in separate beds, I like sleeping next to her….or at least I did.  It feels like betrayal, but then, when I’m hanging on to a sliver of the mattress, grasping for dear life, scared of just what is happening behind my back,  I start to think about the empty bed…calling my name from the soft cottony uninhibited sheets.  I'm so weak....well rested....but weak.

12 comments:

  1. tsk. tsk. :) Don't worry...you'll be back!

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  2. The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem! Sneaking around for comfort and quiet...lol! Don't worry - it gets better in a few years. :)

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    1. A few years huh? Thanks Amy, I hope so!

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  3. The sweet seductive lure of sleep...get used to being ripped from her embrace, at least for some time. Babies aren't much better for getting a good night's sleep than sick pregnant women.

    That being said, if it was me I would be stocking up on sleep now, while you still can!

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    1. I'm trying Steve, I know the sleeping is over when the baby comes, thanks!

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  4. Well, at least you admit it. I think it'll resolve itself and you're so supportive, I'm sure your wife appreciates you anyways. :)

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    1. Yeah, but I did it again last night, I'm awful!

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  5. Oh my husband will tell you we have all been there. Wait until your son wants to sleep in your bed and there are three of you vying for space, that suite will look even more tempting. Trust me this too shall pass, but oh you are o not alone and are in good company on this, lol :)

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    1. Good to know Janine, I enjoyed your blog post on the joys of sleeping with kids! Thanks!

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  6. It's okay. I hate when my sleep is interrupted so it wouldn't bug me.

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  7. Yeah, she's not screaming for me to come back, I think she enjoys having the whole bed to herself!

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