Stuff My Wife Says..Vol I

Once again I'll go to the endless well of material that is my wife.  She is especially amusing when it comes to a good quote, every day she says something that makes me laugh, sometimes intentionally, other times not so much.  Being pregnant has only enhanced her ability to butcher a song title or come up with a zinger.

For instance, the other day, after trying on a couple of maternity shirts that had arrived in the mail, she seemed discouraged.  

"What’s wrong?"  I asked, noticing her annoyance.   

“This shirt looked much cuter on the mannequin.”  She replied, flapping her arms.

Now I'm not sure how a headless, anorexic pregnant mannequin looked cute, but I kept this to myself.

At times I have to hide my laughter because she’s completely serious.  Here are a few other gems from this weekend:

When I asked about old Christmas cards:  “Either keep them or throw them away.”  As opposed to donating the cards, with our picture on them, to the Goodwill

When she picked up my new Iphone:  “I can take a picture and text it!”  This is a special feature that has only been around for twelve to fifteen years.

When she was unhappy with a picture of her I posted on facebook:  “It’s because you were sitting down when you took the picture.”  It's all about the angles...

Looking at the elderly neighbor’s tall grass a few houses up from our house:  “I think we should cut his grass this week.”  We also need to give her a back massage...

Feeling our dog’s ears this morning as we woke up:  “We may need to get him some ear muffs.”  I’m 90% sure she was kidding on this one, but if I see my dog wearing a furry pair of ear warmers I won’t be totally surprised.

These are just a few of the things my wife says that keep me laughing.  Whether intentional or not, it’s just another entry on the long list of reasons of why I will be forever entertained by this wonderful woman.