Home Schooling

Ever the teacher, it seems that my wife is always finding the teaching moments in my mistakes.

Last night she lured me into the kitchen with a sweet tone and encouraging words.  I walked in unsuspecting and eager only to find that class was in session, I was promptly given a lesson on the placement of the dogs’ water bowl.  I had set the bowl much too close to the electrical outlet, which could be dangerous. 

As you will be a dad soon, she said, in her courteous teacher voice,  this is one of those things of which you will need to be more careful about.  I nodded in agreement, while in my mind tried to imagine the course of events taking place where the water splashes into the outlet, shooting an electrical bolt from the socket, thus harming the baby.

I’m not a quick study, but I know better than to argue with a pregnant woman’s logic. I have learned that lesson and passed the test.  To her, my missteps and mistakes have become opportunities to learn, and boy do I love that...

I’ve always been messy/sloppy/careless/impulsive/mindless, but now I’m reminded every step of the way that the pot-handle I left sticking out is a potential disaster waiting to happen. That plate on the edge of the counter?  You guessed it, it seems my unobservant gaffs are ticking time bombs for an infant.

I had no idea that I was living so dangerously.  I had come to think of myself as a law-abiding, decent person who occasionally forgets to cap the toothpaste.  But here I find that I may cause some serious damage with my slipshod laundry habits and negligent dish placement.

All kidding aside, I understand that I will have to adjust to a baby being in the house as most of these accidents are preventable.  I will have to think like an adult, and luckily I have my wife to help me along, even if I do sometimes stick my tongue out at her when she's not looking.