Wednesday, December 11, 2013

A Breast Man...

From day one our son has been a breast fed baby. He took to the boob without much fuss and never looked back.  Mornings began with a little feeding, as well as nap times, fussy times, and of course nighttime.  Now that he's taken to solid foods, snacking on Cheerios and sharing fig newtons with Daddy, I ask....When do we pull the plug?  

We're approaching the one year mark and he's still all about the boob.  I mean he really likes the boob. This leaves us wondering when exactly, will we wean this kid.  Two years? Three years?   When he comes home from school as a teenager and calls out in that deep, yet uninterested adolescent voice, Mom, were like, all out of milk and I have a full bowl of cereal....Come here....Is that when it just becomes too creepy to continue? I mean there has to be an end, right?

Okay, I'm getting carried away.  And get it. The boob is his safety net. But he’s a little overzealous about the whole deal— climbing up on his mom and trying to pull her shirt off, I mean, guys have gone to jail for less. He's shameless, a tyrant who refuses to relinquish his reign and it make take a full on revolution to change things...

I miss the days that my wife’s boobs were more than just feeding devices—there, I said it. I’m tired of sharing.

So with this in mind I did a little research and found this nugget on The Mayo Clinic’s website:

The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends exclusive breast-feeding for the first six months after birth — and breast-feeding in combination with solids foods until at least age 1. Extended breast-feeding is recommended as long as you and your baby wish to continue.

Wish to continue? We have no say in this. Our little leach wishes to continue as long as the well is pumping.   Place boob in mouth.  Repeat.  He falls asleep holding on to it for safe keeping. Sometimes grabbing both.

And here’s more:

If you're weaning a child age 1 or older, consider not offering this feeding and seeing if he or she requests it.

Requests?  This isn't some top 40 radio station call in line.  There are no requests, only demands. 

Here's the deal:  No boob, no sleep. And don’t let him catch her with the breast pump; it’s like watching an episode of Cheaters. Once he lays eyes on the goods, things fall apart.   We have to quickly pack up and rush to secure the liquid gold before there is a full on panic. 

Breastfeeding is a supply and demand situation. If demands are not met, there will be consequences. So at eleven months there’s no reason to stop his gravy train quite yet, but the end is in sight, whether he knows it or not...

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